BUILDing BOLD BOUNDARIES
August 9, 2024
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Boundaries are the KEY TO MAINTAINING YOUR RELATIONAL EQUITY
The key to building anything that lasts is first defining the “why”. Why does this thing need to exist? For example, if I am erecting a new building, I need to have a strong case for why it is necessary to have the structure built. Fences help to protect what has been built from anything that may cause it harm. Boundaries, like fences, protect a relationship from anything that might try to dismantle it. Boundaries need to be built and maintained so that the purpose of the relationship can thrive.
To take a deep dive on this topic, let’s examine someone who specialized in building strong structures: by trade and in every day life. The most famous carpenter in history… Jesus.
Jesus knew how to build things that lasts. A carpenter by trade he would build chairs, tables, even fences. His family was so known for the trade of carpentry that people wrapped his identity in his profession. “Isn’t that the carpenter’s son?” (Another topic for another blog)
In carpentry, you learn how to build entities that support weight, make everyday tasks more efficient, and structures that protect. These transferrable skills Jesus used to establish his ministry. He built relationships that could support the weight of his mission, divinity and his humanity. However, he did not give every part of himself to everyone. Jesus understood the “why” for each person he connected with and that awareness influenced which part of himself he would share.
Let’s take a deeper look at the relationships Jesus had and how he shared himself with each one…
The Multitude - They received the sermons and teaching. When they had faith, miracles and healing. They encountered the mind and ministry of Jesus. Examples the Sermon on the Mount.
The 12 - The 12 disciples also received the sermons and teachings. They walked with Jesus. Therefore, they also received personalized teachings. They helped Jesus execute the bigger sermons and protected him from the crowds. They got insider access to his humanity. He was not just the Messiah he was also Man. They communed with him daily. Two ended up betraying him and one was redeemed. The 12 encountered his mind, ministry, mentorship and manhood.
The 3 - The 3 (Peter, John, James) had unique access to Jesus compared to the other disciples. They saw Jesus grieve in Gethsemane and be transformed on the Mountain of Transfiguration. They got access to some of the inner workings of his heart. And they also his full divine self. The 3 encountered his mind, ministry, mentorship, manhood, emotions, future and most transparent self.
The 1 - I have always admired how many times Jesus would disappear from a crowd to be in solitude. We know at these times he would usually pray and rest in God the Father’s presence. Gethsemane depicts a time he came face-to-face with his own calling “If this cup would pass… Nevertheless not my will but your (the Father’s) will be done. This was his time to process with the noise and demands of the day. In Jesus’s solitude he was emotionally raw and used it as a time to rest and replenish.
These types of defined groups help to put people in their rightful position. Definitions are foundational to building any relational boundary. Boundaries protect the flow of love required for each relationship. And it’s not just for the other person/people. It’s for you too. So that you can manage your expectations and don’t expect to be filled from a place you’re supposed to pour.
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Talk Soon,
Dianne
Welcome to the Confrontation of Calling® Newsletter! Every month I share helpful stories and insights on key topics that contribute to you living in your calling unapologetically.
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